Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Hanging by the nails

I have days where I feel certain that there's no way I'll even be sober for a year. I know that time work on my reasons, make them seem less urgent, whisper to me that maybe this time I will manage my drinking like a responsible adult, so why not just give it a try.

I think it's harder because it's January, and all the resolutions are new, and so very fragile, and even though I've been sober since October, it's like I'm only 3 weeks in. The distance between 3 months sober and 4 months sober is feeling like forever. That's one advantage to drinking: you don't really count the days. Not drinking has a lot of counting.

But things are going pretty good, for the most part. Things are more smooth with my friends, my health is better, I think I'm doing better at work (and I've got a job interview lined up for a position that pays more). I've been regular with the gym. I'm back at school taking a night class.

I guess I'm just in the emotional doldrums right now. One thing I'm learning is that moods come and go, and so next week I'll probably be zipping along like a little sober dynamo, making sobriety work.

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