Yesterday, I was talking with a friend about our career trajectories and sort of out of the blue I mentioned how grateful I am that I have stopped drinking, because where I am right now, I kind of need all of my brain power running at its best in order to make good decisions. While in many ways things are very comfortable for me in general, I can see that the future is bringing with it a lot of change and potential opportunity, but there are so many moving parts and possible outcomes that trying to take all of it into account would be impossible if I weren't at my best.
One of the outcomes of nearly 4 months of sobriety is that I feel myself changing and growing, I feel like I have all of this power to determine my future and to set goals and make decisions that will help me ensure a safe, happy, stable future. Instead of only looking forward to the next drink or the next party, I am looking forward to the next year, the next decade.
So, even when this is hard (I'm pretty sure I had one of those dreams where I get really drunk and ruin everything last night), there are dividends that are paying off already and will continue to do so down the road. I want to be a powerful, intelligent, compassionate, mature man, and being sober is how I will do that.